afdasdjheyHELP!

hell eats my heaven.pressure's eating all of me.

i've been spending half of my time staring at the window, trying to figure why the sky is blue and the other half panicking. im still getting used to the whole second year scenario but im already drowning with pressure. okay, it's not really that bad but that's just how i feel. i'm lucky because i got in one of the best sections, but that's the thing. you have to be the best and compete with everyone. you'll be doing your best not because you want to, but because you wouldn't want to be left out. you have to do everything to stay where the best stays.

the teachers keep on telling us that we should be like this, do that, don't act like that, and things. it makes me feel so crazy and really pressured. people see us as the smart people in our school and they expect us to do things like perfecting the 120 items test in Biology, passing the seven paged experiment paper complete with drawings two days after it was told to us, follow every rule they make no matter how stupid it is, act like how they want us to act, endure all the pressure just to have the grades and study, study, study. i don't really understand why they keep on teling us that we're different from the other kids. why can't they understand that it's hard for us to live like this and stay where we are now? we're humans not robots. we have our limitations too. and we have the right to say no. we get tired too.

my close friend np*, who was a really good student once said to me, " when i got home yesterday, i looked at what i was supposed to do and when i realized that it was really impossible to finish it, i just can't force myself not to cry. the pressure is just too much to take. " she was a really good student and people would be really surprised to hear those words from her. they would be because they don't know how it feels.

but even if this is hard, we have to face it. we have to continue doing this.

but in time.i'll have to say NO.